I got my license at 20 years and 4 months old.
Why is this significant? I’ll tell you why it wasn’t first.
Ever since I was about 12 years old I had this dream of taking the train everywhere. Talking to different people on different carts, visiting new cities, and always on the move. That dream then grew to be more detailed throughout my sophomore year of high school. I wanted to go to school and live in NY. The need for a car just wasn't there at all. It seemed more like an inconvenience than a rite of passage. I'm a big planner and goal-oriented person and for me to achieve my goals I like sharing them out loud to trusted loved ones who help me see what I can't or help encourage me. I told everyone in my family about my disinterest for driving. I wouldn't say they supported it, but they weren't disapproving either. It was one of those "It's not my life so go have fun and be safe" types of conversations.
In New Jersey, sophomores in High School take Drivers Education Course. For a quarter of the semester, you learn everything you need to know about driving. Then at the end of your course, you take a knowledge exam where if you pass then you can continue the next steps in getting your license. I passed. When I passed I didn't get this sense of urgency to book my 6hours. It was just like passing any other test.
A lot of people would say I got my license 4 years and 4 months late.
Whenever driving was brought up in conversations and I said that I haven't scheduled driving lessons frequent questions and comments would be:
Are you scared of driving?
Do you not have the money to schedule?
Why are you so late?
Couldn't be me.
To which I would respond:
Nope.
I have the money to schedule.
I am not late.
You're right it couldn't be you because you're you and I'm me (This was always followed with immediate laughter to ease out any possible tension).
These questions never bothered me or got under my skin because I was simply sticking to my plan. And when your plan is different than what is normally accepted in society, you're going to get judged and curiosity will stir.
Yes, I got it later than most kids I grew up with but that doesn’t mean I got it late. It was just late on their timeline which has absolutely nothing to do with me.
If I had ever needed a ride somewhere that wasn't within walking distance, I was very blessed to have family who would take me where I needed to go. I didn’t take this for granted and always offered gas money or paid for whatever I could.
It wasn’t until I met other people around the age of 18 that the pressure of not having a license became debilitating. I was friends with people who made me feel like a burden. I felt like not having a license was embarrassing or something to feel bad about.
I heard jokes about me not having a license for so long that didn’t make me feel good that I started to feel insecure and wanted my dream to come to end despite it becoming my reality. I wasn't going to school or living in NY, but I was going to school and living in North Jersey and taking the train to new places.
I met different people on these rides and got glimpses of their day and lives. I met a train conductor named Bob who owns a Maserati. I met this girl named Persephone who taught me about the importance of wearing pants underneath a dress while going on the train to avoid perverts.
Taking the train taught me the importance of silence. That everyone is in their own world with their own lives and that if you're blessed like I was, some people might let you in their world just before they get off their next stop.
Allowing people in my life to make me feel less than taught me the great characteristics a friend should really have. Looking back on that time, I realized the friends that offered first to pick me up to make sure I was able to hang out with them truly cared for my well-being instead of getting frustrated they had to make a stop to get me which meant they would show up to a place a little later than planned.
Shout out Maeghan, Sosa, and Sam :)
In the middle of me feeling like a burden and feeling phantom pressure of not having a license, I saw this saying on an Instagram post that said:
Remember you once dreamt about being where you are now.
My dream came true.My timing over everyone else’s. God's timing over everyone else’s.
Regaining confidence in my decisions, it was soon placed in my heart that it was time to get my license. The next chapter of my life.
I was so happy when I passed. I didn’t think about any of the people that threw negativity my way, instead I thought about my persevernce and those who lifted me up in love. I got all pretty my ID picture. Then I forgot a point so I go back the next day.
But the next day, my joy was still there because when it is Gods time for you, nothing can knock you off your feet.
I am so blessed to have this independency. I pray that if your'e a new dirver like me, we are reminded that driving is a privellege. And most importantly I pray that God keeps us protected, that no weapon formed against us shall prosper.
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